Don't take too long to think about it. 15 books you've read that will always stick with you. They don't have to be the greatest books you've ever read, just the ones that stick with you. First 15 you can recall in no more than 15 minutes.

NOT in any order

Tale of 2 Cities - Charles Dickens
My mom bought me a set of Charles dickens paperback mini books, and this was the first one that I read... I wasn't a big reader in my youth, but after finishing the mini book version, I bought the full book Second hand... my first Classic

Dragonlance - Dragons of Autumn Twilight
I love the Dragonlance books, This one was recommended by Jasper as a great read... I have met a lot of good friends because of this book, it got me in to roleplaying more... after reading this once, I really wanted to play a Kender, but all the D&D games I played needed more powerful characters... until LARP

Dracula - Bram Stoker
Reading a book after seeing the movie is normally not something I do, but I couldn't resist with this Classic... The atmosphere that Bram generates in this book still holds me now, even though I have read this book many times.

Yes Man - Danny Wallace
A very funny read, a good pick me up when I'm a little down in the dumps

Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
I first read these after reading the Hobbit at School... I found them very heavy going then, but completed them... Years later, I re-read them, just before the Movies came out. I enjoyed them a lot more now that I roleplay, and don't mind the seemingly endless passages of history / descritive text.

Harry Potter - JK Rowling
I know this sounds sad(ish)... But I really do love these books. Very easy to read, and can be very gripping at times. The first time I have bought First editions of any book... Just glad that there are soooo many First Editions out there as mine are very well battered now with the Bus journeys they have been on.

Guards Guards - Terry Pratchett
My first ever Discworld book... again a recommendation from Jasper... Really got me into Terry Pratchett books... And also the first idea for Pinta and Killian when we first came to LT... we were suppose to be Colon and Nobby nobbs... but that fell down after the first night.

The Stand - Stephen King
I have never completed this book... I get to around page 100 then start developing a cold... this really freaks me out... one day I will complete this book... one day

Dungeon and Dragons Version 2 - Player Manual
I was quite shy as a teenager (I hear you all calling me a liar)... and apart from football, I really didn't do much socialising... This brought me out of my shell a little, and introduced me to Dave Britton (Jasper)... 20 years ago... so much trouble caused by 1 book... ooops

The Bible
I read this book, cover to cover in my mid teens... My mom is a lapsed Catholic... and had never got me Christened/baptised etc... she had always said it was my choice.
Well, at about 15 years old, I found a cheap copy of the Bible in a second hand book shop, so I thought I'd better try it out.
Long story short, I do like most of it, I think some parts are very interesting, but I just don't believe...
I have spoken at great length to Lucy's Church's Vicar about this, and have come to the idea that The bible to me is just a set of good stories.

Feet of Clay - Terry Pratchett
A good story, but I got this signed by him, after breaking my arm. Just before Lucy was born.

Fungus the Bogeyman - Raymond Briggs
What a funny book... the whole book has some great little in jokes all the way through.
Bought a copy for Lucy, and she likes it too... Passing on my silly sense of humour to my daughter is what keeps me sane

The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole - Sue Townsend
This came out about the same time I was a kid, but I first read it at age 13 3/4 ... A very good book for a teenage boy to read... made me feel that most lads have to go through those weird moments in life

America Unchained - Dave Gorman
I have read most of his books, and really enjoyed them... but this one is named due to me getting this one signed with Tanya... and hearing the big man read a section of it.

Porridge - The Scripts
I'm a big BBC comedy fan, and really enjoy reading the scripts of my favorite TV programs... I have Red Dwarf, Monty Python, and Bottom full scripts... but this was my first of the collection, and still the best.
The writing is still very funny now, I just hope no one ever tries to remake this classic TV program

I have been asked to send a message to all my Larp friends...

http://www.ukgamesexpo.co.uk/#

The Games Expo happening this weekend in Birmingham needs your help...

They are running a Living Dungeon game over the weekend, but some of the staff for this have been in a car accident and are unable to make it (unsure how bad).

Please contact the organisers if you can spare a few hours over the next 2 days.

Thanks

Tony,

do you remember me and Lucy telling you about a song sometime ago call Mr Lee...

well i found it, and think you should have it as you theme song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk-PultC2Wc

watch it all, but song is from 1min 40sec

Sorry mate he he he

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I 'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life .. . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

OK... we survived Tony's 3 Ninja's and 20 Pirates night...

Next one is my birthday... I will be 33...

So I'm planning on doing a few things, but my main one is as follows...

WEDNESDAY 16th JULY

STAR CITY, Birmingham

INDOOR CRAZY GOLF

36 holes of fun, for the small price of £7

Meet up at 7pm, in the bowling alley, to start playing at 8pm

They have a bar...

Please come and take the mickey out of me getting older...

I hurt... And still down over weekend...

I am sorry to all my friends at the GEF who I didn't get to say goodbye to but I really wasn't in a good mood at the end... If it wasn't for you guys, I really would off walked away

I had some great moments over the weekend, but they just seemed to be over shadowed by utter crap moments...

I'm minus one bow - I am minus one tent - My ankle is swollen due to some knob headed cheating Gryphen... I don't mind losing, but being cheated out of a game annoys the crap out of me.

But I really do want to thank my friends for keeping me sane over the weekend...

And to Naomi - THANK YOU... Pinta and Pinta for the win... Must do that again
and we are bloody great... and good looking too...

The two Pinta's must be ranked in my top 3 best roleplaying moments ever... I throughly enjoyed that night...

I missed a few other friends not being at the event... and really missed having somebody else to help cheer me up...

SO

Lucy WILL be coming to the Gathering this year... I need mini Pinta to chill me out..

Speak soon Guys

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in
Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told

shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas
stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled
'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed
the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while;
then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager

F**king B*****D AR**ING W**K**G HAYFEVER

Got the sniffles last year, for the first time...

This Year it has hit me full pelt....

Women's Love Poem

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend.

Men's Love Poem

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

Before anybody at yesterday's weapons practice can post pics of me in a suit...

My Family at Lucy's Baptism and Conformation yesterday....

And I did look bloody Great for a change... now back to being a slob...

I'm an Uncle again... my sister gave birth to a little girl at 2am this morning

Mother and baby are fine... 5lb 10oz... think she wil be called Molly...

Lucy is being christened and confirmed on Sunday morning by the Bishop of Birmingham... She's very excited... I'm trying to hide in the background... All Lucy's idea, nowt to do with me... would rather her being a Devil worshiper (he he he)

Megan is Megan... Even at 5 years old she can be sweetness and light one minute... and a evil little pixie another.

Also Lucy is no longer my little Babe... She is my little lady... enough said...

CRAP I'M OLD

There is a thread on the Dragon boards about the state of some kids today...

So I posted the following on the boards, just to show that it is the parents and not the situation that they live that causes more of the problems...

Thanks for reading this rant...

Some very nice points expressed here...

I have 2 great daughters, from different mothers... and I do find that it is the Parents attitude that plays 90% of the moulding of the child's attitude...

I am a single father and both of my girls are really for 5 days a week "only childs". They have quite different personalities and respect for other people... Let me expand on this.

My oldest (Lucy) is 10 years old... Her mother is Single and on state benefit, she has not been able to hold down a full time job more than 1 year in her life...
She lives in a rough council estate that is known for the low exam results of the schools around her area.

My youngest (Megan) is 5 years old. Her mother married 2 years ago and lives in a very well off area of the west midlands. She is a handful, but who isn’t at that age… she is quite bright but can be a little spoilt sometimes… The schools around her area are known for their high standards. Megan’s mom and step dad are determined to move before Megan goes to senior school so that they are in the right catchments area for the best school.

So, my kids are from different backgrounds, will hang out with different groups… so according to all the stats Lucy will be the one who gets pregnant first, will drop out of school and hang round in gangs… NOT GOING TO HAPPEN…

Why…. Because of her parents !!!!

Lucy knows that money is tight, but can see that her parents love her so much, and that Daddy works as much as possible to see her on weekends...

She is a bright caring child, who has a heart of gold. We as parents are determined for her to break that stereotype

Both of my kids are top of their classes, and even though Lucy will have to fight to get through the system… she has a great parental support system from both her parents and Megan’s Mom and step dad…

I’m just writing this to prove that it is the parents that can change kids attitude and not the Government… They can help, but it must come from parents first…

One final thought… I know of one lad, oldest of 5 children from 3 different fathers, mother on benefits and single… attended a junior school in the bottom 20% of schools in the country… lives in a sinkhole off an estate… He fought the system because of his mother, who gave him support, and very good sense of right and wrong… He refused to do the 11 plus, knowing that he would pass with flying colours… because he knew his mom couldn’t afford to send him to grammar school (he would have been one off the “assisted” students)… instead getting into a good school just on the catchment boundaries…
He left school at 16, not because of being dumb (he got 8 GCSE at C grade and above), but because he had a dream Job that he wanted to do.
He now hangs round with people from all walks of life, most of his friends are University Graduates, but none of them look down on him because of his upbringing… some didn’t even know that he didn’t go to Uni

I hope not anyway… cause that is me…

THANKS MOM

And thank you all

Hi Guys...

Nic - Money has been a bit crap, sorry about not paying ya yet...

Both of you though, can you meet at square peg tomorrow after 7pm so that you can get ya moneies...

IT BEING PAY DAY AND ALL

Thanks again

Even though my oldest is only 10 years old, I thought I would post these rules now...

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them..

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day.
Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: 'early.'

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge . Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:
Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay.
Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi . When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

I'm going to Omega Sektor in Birmingham @ 7pm on Monday...

Anybody fancy it???????

I broke the phone system at work....

Fried the server box worth £3.5k

And what did I do about it....

Giggle and sing "I'm getting fired in the morning" to the tune of I'm getting married...

Todays news brought to you by the wicked Kender

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.
------------------------------------------------------------
It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh s ** t, it's Global Warming.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front
...But she didn't wear that one often.
----------------------------------------------------------
Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.
----------------------------------------------------------
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.
----------------------------------------------------------
Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.
----------------------------------------------------------
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.
----------------------------------------------------------
Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Jill, the dill,
forgot her pill,
and now they have a son.
----------------------------------------------------------
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.
----------------------------------------------------------
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.

Sorry Craig for the No Show Yesterday...

Phone Battery went bang Sunday Morning, so couldn't contact people.

Went to see my mother yesterday with Lucy.... She has said sorry for everything that happened in September... she now knows not to piss me off... Spent some time with her, with one thing and another, I looked at the clock and it was half 6.

Didn't know if you all would still be there, and with no way of contacting you all...

Sorry....

If your around Tanya's xmas eve or on the Day before, I'll meet up with you for a Drink mate...

Happy Birthday Dude... Hope you enjoyed your drink... and somebody else cut you this year...